The Romantic Whirlwhind

Published Date Author: Astrid Engels, November 9th, 2009

Even if that has not happened to you, you’ve probably read a book or two, or perhaps you know someone that this has happened to. A head over heels love at first sight meeting. And it didn’t stop there. Oh no! They did something drastic like getting married while riding elephants at the zoo or running away to Brazil. I know, you’re sighing and thinking “that’s so romantic!”. But is it really?

I tend to go back and forth on this issue, mainly because I’ve been in both situations. There was the time I was the headstrong young woman who fell head-over-heels for an older man and after 3 months together, gave up my amazing apartment, moved in with him and started shopping for engagement rings.

A month after that, he attacked me. In retrospect, it wasn’t such a good move after all. I’m glib about it now (coping mechanism, anyone?) but the truth is, at the time, it felt like my world had fallen apart: I was suddenly loveless, homeless and completely doubting my ability to read my feelings and instincts, something I had been very sure of my whole life up to this point. The whole thing was sudden, intense and just like a movie, in both the good and bad ways. And I had totally eaten it up.

I’ve been told that I should have been more discriminating and not so hasty in my decision. That could be. However, I made it out in one piece. And even if I could go back for a do over, I’m not sure that I’d do things any differently. I go from the heart, I always have, and I always will. That’s who I am. If I put a buffer on my heart I wouldn’t have experienced the emotions that I did; for better or worse.

I think that’s the reasoning that many leaping before looking lovers provide: you take the good with the bad. And never sacrifice the good just to save yourself from potential bad. Otherwise, you’ll end up an old, sad sack of middle-ground. And life is too short to not be extreme from time to time.

Having said that there are two sides to this coin. I’m all about following your heart to unexpected places. You’ll have some amazing adventures. But, and it’s a big but, there’s a big difference between being someone who habitually falls deeply in and out of love and changes his or her whole life around on a whim, and being someone who drops everything for one once in a lifetime whirlwind romance.

People like this most certainly exist. I call them “love-bleweeds”. They make a life out of tumbling around, building up one relationship and life, only to completely uproot and reconfigure when the next one comes along. After you’ve done this for long enough, it’s very possible to forget how to be calm, comfortable and exercise any follow through.

If people are actually happy like this, then more power to them. But there are casualties that surround someone who lives like this. Their friends, their coworkers, their neighbors, and perhaps even family and lovers are left in the wake when they drop everything at the sight of their next “soulmate”. Those left behind will have their own baggage to deal with.

It’s too rare and too unspeakably joyful to fall in love in a fast and intense way to not do it when it comes along. If you’re lucky (and go around the block enough times), you’ll perchance learn how to protect the rest of your life when it does, without sacrificing any of the amazing feelings.

This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find thousands of professional dating posts.

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